New Moon invites us to learn the skill of deciding what we want. Now, remember that wanting something doesn’t mean our happiness depends on getting it. Happiness is right now. The moon is always whole, it always has what it needs. So do we.
But, wanting gives us direction and keeps us progressing. And that’s crucial. So find joy in what you already have and then go after your desires. That’s what it means to be a creator. There is a fire within you waiting to be stoked.
An important part of this process is defining what exactly you value. This is a time to prioritize those values. What are the things that you believe to be important in the way you live? Your values will guide your decisions and when you honor them, you feel good and successful.
Here are three different exercises that can help you determine your values.
- When you see traits in others that bother you, it is often a reflection of what you see in yourself. The good news is that the opposite is also true! When you see traits you admire in others, it’s because you have those same traits that are either developed or waiting to be developed. Think of three to six people you most admire or love and what values they personify. Write them down!
- Can you recall a key moment in your life where you felt totally yourself? When you felt happy and fulfilled? Take some time to relive this key moment. Now jot down some notes describing it in detail. Once you have your key moment written down, think about what values were being expressed and felt in that experience. What was important to you? What about it made you feel alive? Write it down!
- Brainstorm a list of common values or do an internet search for “list of values.” Once you have a list to choose from, set a timer for 5 minutes. Read through the list and circle every one one that your intuition says fits you. When the timer goes off, copy the circled words onto a brand new list.
Do one or all three of these exercises. From here you’re just narrowing down! It typically works best to end with a list of 5-10 values.
With the list of words you have compiled from the above exercises, group all of the words together that have a common theme. Then name each group with one word that describes the central theme of the group.
For example, one group of related words may include: compassion, service, kindness, grace. I would probably choose compassion as the common theme.
Now compile those common themes into a list. If you need to narrow down more, ask yourself, “What values are absolutely FUNDAMENTAL to the way I live my life?”
From here, it can be useful to create positive thoughts or affirmations about each value - just to give each word more meaning and context.
For example, using the word compassion from above: “I choose compassion in all of my interactions.”
Finally, post this list where you will be able to review it every day. Revisit the list once every 6-12 months to determine if you want to change any of your core values.